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What happened?
Everyday I look in the mirror and think, what have I become? What is this monster that I’m looking at? It’s not me, it’s not the old me. Where am I? What have I done to myself? I’m lost within myself, I need an escape. I’ve let so many people down, I’ve let myself down. I’ve destroyed everything I’ve ever loved. It hurts to look in the mirror and not even recognize myself. It really hurts.
You know what it’s like, right? To think about suicide each and every second. To have it planned out, every single detail, but something is stopping you. To see your own scars and get triggered. You either hate them so much, or you love them. Either way, it just causes more. To cry yourself to sleep. To have this heavy feeling on your chest, that just hurts so much, you don’t want to move, talk, or even breathe. You just want to lie there and hope to die every single second. To want to tell someone about everything, but too scared they’ll judge you and it’ll all backfire on you. To want to be alone so you can cry and cut all you want. To look in the mirror and how you just want to break down, because you hate every little detail you see in the mirror. To wish you where thinner, or the scars would be gone. To be jealous of others, because they’re so content with everything, and you’re just a miserable mess. Where you wish someone would walk up to you, and tell you everything is okay, and just hug you for the longest time. Where you want to fall asleep in someones arms after crying and getting it all out. You know exactly how it feels..right?
